I keep waiting for something to snap back in place. It's not happening. Something is not right! I want to think it's just the exhaustion I have felt lately and it's keeping me from working out and eating right but I know it's the stupid not working out and bad eating that is causing the exhaustion! I know this yet can't bring myself to do a dang thing about it. I just feel like everything is so out of place lately and no matter what I try nothing puts it back together. I sit down to blog nearly every night then nothing comes out so I am hoping maybe if I can just get back into this and get the words flowing then maybe the inspiration to lose weight...well to get healthy really...will come. Waiting.....waiting.....nope, nothing. Crap. I did make a meal plan this week, so maybe that will help. I didn't stick with it though. Day one and I messed up. I am having to work in a different office in a different city this week and I told myself I would bring my lunch so I wouldn't be tempted to eat out. Well I did, but I am having to carpool to the office with friends and one didn't bring her lunch. I didn't even consider just taking her to get something or letting her use my car. I just immediately decided screw my lunch I'm eating out. When I was actually motivated and serious I wouldn't have done that. Now I feel sick. That's another thing. I have been sick a lot lately. Linda scary sick. Lots of nose bleeds and bloody mucous and sharp stabbing pains in my stomach and one migraine after another, always queasy feeling and ALWAYS exhausted! I just can't move half the time. I lay there on my floor and poor Maddie has actually came over and laid down next to me rubbing my head and telling me it will be ok. So maybe I am sick. Who knows. I think it's exhaustion and if I can get my butt back in gear things will be fine. I'm just an emotional wreck! Blah! Anyway, enough of that! I looked over my new years resolutions and so far the only one I am coming even close to sticking to, is learning astrology! I guess if I had to pick on it would be the most fun one to stick too! I have a great book to study...thanks if you are reading this ;), and am at least enjoying that! The whole paying off my debt thing...yeah NOT happening! And the weight loss stuff, well again, not happening. I've about decided I need to just drop everything and run away for a weekend. Just get out and veg in a quiet hotel room somewhere. I need to clear my head and get things right! Lots to think about lately. I think that's the main problem (I seem to think lots of things are the main problem) anyway, I really believe part of the problem is that I can't concentrate on the weight loss issues with so much other crap! I started a nw job, have friends with issues I am trying to help them with, Maddie is going through a very long and bad terrible 2 spell at the moment and I am dealing with being sick and tired and not having any money! Blah! And I miss my dogs. :( I want my coop and layla belle back. I think about then every day :(
Ok this didn't work, I still don't feel motivated and now I've just sat here and rambled and accomplished nothing
reminder
Do you ever get frustrated because things are moving too slowly in your life? Many people don't realize that building a foundation for success does not happen overnight. It is a slow process in which you are constantly working and learning. After all, that foundation must remain strong, even in times of failure or crisis. This takes time! You may have to remind yourself that "failing" is only failure if you quit; otherwise it's a learning opportunity. So don't worry if your life seems to be moving in slow motion. Concentrate on building a solid foundation and learning from your back steps
My Plan
So I've been going at this weight loss/ healthy lifestyle/ exercise/ love myself shit for years now. Seriously, when will I just get it? I am a quitter and loser. The fact that it's a couple of years later and I'm here starting over is proof positive. I've got a million and half excuses as to why I gained the weight back but not a single one of them matters. I need to do this. I need to push myself and get over the quitter mentality. I've learned that I'm a miserable person when I'm unhealthy. If anything came out of previous success it's that knowledge. Being healthy makes me happy. Simple as that. I have to do this. MY life depends on it.
I am setting a goal for myself of 5% of my body weight at a time. Since I weigh 210 pounds right now, that means 10.5 pounds is 5% of my body weight, I think....math and I have never gotten along very well. I'll try something a little different this time and figure out what 5% of each new weight is too...maybe that will keep me more motivated.
Anyway, as I meet my goals, I plan on rewarding myself! I NEVER reward myself, I wont even buy myself the right kind of shampoo half the time because I hate wasting money on me. But self help is a great thing and something to look forward to. My rewards will always non food items and always something personal.
I will also make a meal plan each saturday night, buy the groceries sunday and stick with it through the week. I will be making Brian do this with me and he will lose more weight than me and I will get jealous but that will not make me quit like it would have in the past. I will be able to fit into my clothes again. I will want to dress up and put on makeup and fix myhair again. I will feel like a human being again. And I WILL learn to love myself FINALLY!
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Bagel Sandwich
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This was the best breakfast I have had in a while! One mini whole grain bagel, 2 slices turkey bacon, 1/4 cup egg whites and 1 slice cheese served with 1/2 banana and 1/2 cup strawberries. Total points- 6! Also- I have decided turkey bacon is FAR superior to regular bacon and I am dead serious!
Orange-Black bean salad and fish
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YUM! this was so good! And so easy! Just saute some onion and garlic in a little bit of olive oil, add some ground cumin then add black beans, red wine vinegar and fresh orange juice. Toss in some Oranges at the last minute and serve! Amazing! I served mine with some pan grilled mahi mahi. One of the best combinations of food I have ever had!
Chicken Enchilada Casserole
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mmmmmm....this was awesome and I ate it for at least 4 meals!
Mexican Meatloaf
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this was amazing! No clue wha tI put in it, if you want the recipe I will dig it up, it was good though!
Shrimp curry
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Mmmm thai food at home!
Spinach strawberry salad with goat cheese and orange balsamic vinegrette
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Yummiest salad I've ever made! baby spinach tossed with sliced strawberries, goat cheese, and pistachio nuts. Dressing is orange juice, balsamic vinegar, canola oil, salt and pepper. Very tasty and simple!
Green Monster Smoothie (and Maddie's juice)
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milk, fruit and spinach, what's not to love?
Alternative
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I almost broke down and got some diet pills. Instead I bought these: some fiber choice tablet things that actually taste really good, and a multi vitamin that supports metabolism. I took them both this morning and have tons of extra energy and do not feel starved! Yay!
Day one, off to a happy start....
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Breakfast: 1 whole egg, 1 egg white, half banana, 1 mini whole grain bagel. Lunch: 1 cup progresso light zesty Santa fe soup. Dinner: 3 oz fillet mignon, asparagus, sweet potatoes, and french bread
Beans rice and cornbread, can't go wrong!
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1/2 cup pinto beans, 1/4 cip jasmine rice and small slice of cornbread. I like to serve my food in small bowls/plates...I guess the mind trick works for me cause this looked like a ton of food!
My daily breakfast
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This is a wonderful and filling breakfast. I make a fruit smoothie (1/2 cup milk with about a cup of mixed fruit, whatever I have on hand) then serve it with some egg whites mixed with whatever veggies I have on hand, and a mini whole grain bagel. the whole thing has 5 pts and I am so full that I don't even think about food till about 5 hours later.
Veggie Pizza
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garlic olive oil, then pizza sauce, lots of fresh veggies and CHEESE! Just 4 pts a slice!
Baked Ziti
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turkey sausage, bell pepper, onion, diced tomato, frozen peas, lots of herbs, whole grain pasta and cheese. Very easy and yummy! Filling, and there are tons of leftovers!
Day 4
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Breakfast: honey nut cheerios and 1/2 cup milk Lunch: 6 piece chickennugget kids meal from Chick Fil A with fruit cup instead of fries and milk to drink Dinner: lean hamburger patty on whole grain mini bagel with tater tots. Picture is of my favorite Sonic drink... a large WATER
the filling for my greek omelet
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artichoke hearts, spinach, olives, mushrooms, and tomato! Very tasty!
Made from leftovers!
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beans, rice and shrimp in my baja yogurt sauce. Served with corn tortillas. Quite tasty!
Fajita Pork and Pasta
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This was sooo good! I'm on a roll with these weight watchers meals! Very easy- 1 onion, 3 bell peppers (green, red and yellow) 1 zucchini a couple carrots cook till tender (seasoned with ground cumin, chili powder and garlic powder) then add some pork (seasoned with the same thing) and heat through. Toss with whole wheat pasta and you're done! I added some garlic in there somewhere too, I think with the veggies. Oh and at the end throw in a can of rotel, it kidna helps hold it all together. Yummy!
Baked Tilapia
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Tonight's dinner was so good! I made baked Tilapia- just seasoned both sides of the filet with salt and pepper then covered the tops with a garlic herb blend and fresh lemon juice and broiled for about 10 minutes. Served with orange cilantro black bean salad ( one of my favorite new recipes) and rice! So good!
Day 3
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Breakfast: Apple Cinnamon Cheerios with 1/2 cup 2% milk, Lunch: whole grain tortilla with grilled chicken breast and veggie mixture of corn, black beans and brocolli, Dinner: roasted pork loin and apples, green beans, and french bread, snack: peaches and raspberries
Fish Tacos
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this was good! I made fish stickes (tilapia with some seasoned flour and bread crumbs) then served it in corn tortillas with a yogurt sauce (plain fat free yogurt, lime juice, chipotle in adobo and salt/pepper) Made black beans and rice for a side dish
Lemon chocken with artichokes and spinach
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This was better than it looks, but not much! I think if I had used the capers and fresh spinach the recipe called for it would have been better. Instead I omitted the capers cause I didn't have any and used frozen spinach. the sauce is good though- lemon zest, lemon juice, chicken broth, corn starch and sugar. Season chicken with salt pepper and dill. Mix sauce with artichoke hearts and spinach and serve over chicken. Not bad, but not as good as the rest of the recipes!
Sauted Shrimp and zucchini
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Another very good recipe from WW and also very easy. Saute some zucchini in a little olive oil, add shrimp and grape tomatoes. Season with salt pepper and oregano. I served mine with angel hair pasta
Goat Cheese Souffle with fruit salad
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Souffle: 3 eggs, seperated, some dill weed, salt and pepper, 1/2 tbs butter and 1-2 oz goat cheese. mix egg yold with dill weed salt and pepper, set aside. In large mixing bowl whip egg whites with electric mixer till soft peaks form (about 2-3 minutes) fold in yolk mixture till combined. Poor into pie dish buttered with 1/2 tbs butter. Crumble goat cheese on top. Place in 400 degree oven for 10 minutes. Eat! Yummy! The whole thing has about 10 points, I cut mine into 4 servings, so this is a nice light breakfast for a few people when served with a good fresh fruit salad- just 3 points!
Mediterranean Chicken
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Tangy and tasty!
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