Sometimes it can be so hard to put things into perspective. I just feel, lately, like the world is against me. I can't find a job, I cant lose weight (fast enough) I can't seem to make maddie happy, my family life is much less than desirable, and I just feel like a total failure. I am very much aware that the fact that I have a roof over my head and food in my (fat) belly puts me at the top of the food chain globally speaking, but still...when you are crying at least 5 times a day and can't bear to look at yourself in the mirror, not just because you feel ugly, but becasue you feel like a total failure, it's easy to forget about the people with real problems and just dwell on your own. I don't know what is missing anymore, but I don't feel complete. I feel lost and purposeless. I feel like my friends have abandoned my, except for a select few dearly loved ones. I know it's all my fault for having such a bad attitude, but I can't help but feel betrayed. I like to think that when my friends are hurting I would be there for them, not turn my back on them, but I guess I haven't formed strong enough bonds with anyone for them to feel that way for me. Story of mylife, I attach to people and people could care less about me. Again, this does not mean everyone, just a few, who have really hurt me lately. and those of yall that read this aren't the ones I'm talking about, you are all miraculously sticking with me through my endless pity party and I love you for it. I am in a rut I guess and don't know how to get out of it cause I don't know what rut it is. Like I said before, maybe it's all superficial and with a new hair cut and a tan, makeup, etc...I would feel better, but I think there is much more to it than that. I just wish I knew what. :(
Wouldn't it be nice if all the worlds problems could be solved with a good makeover? I'm so shallow it's funny
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Bagel Sandwich
This was the best breakfast I have had in a while! One mini whole grain bagel, 2 slices turkey bacon, 1/4 cup egg whites and 1 slice cheese served with 1/2 banana and 1/2 cup strawberries. Total points- 6! Also- I have decided turkey bacon is FAR superior to regular bacon and I am dead serious!
Orange-Black bean salad and fish
YUM! this was so good! And so easy! Just saute some onion and garlic in a little bit of olive oil, add some ground cumin then add black beans, red wine vinegar and fresh orange juice. Toss in some Oranges at the last minute and serve! Amazing! I served mine with some pan grilled mahi mahi. One of the best combinations of food I have ever had!
Chicken Enchilada Casserole
mmmmmm....this was awesome and I ate it for at least 4 meals!
Mexican Meatloaf
this was amazing! No clue wha tI put in it, if you want the recipe I will dig it up, it was good though!
Shrimp curry
Mmmm thai food at home!
Spinach strawberry salad with goat cheese and orange balsamic vinegrette
Yummiest salad I've ever made! baby spinach tossed with sliced strawberries, goat cheese, and pistachio nuts. Dressing is orange juice, balsamic vinegar, canola oil, salt and pepper. Very tasty and simple!
Green Monster Smoothie (and Maddie's juice)
milk, fruit and spinach, what's not to love?
Alternative
I almost broke down and got some diet pills. Instead I bought these: some fiber choice tablet things that actually taste really good, and a multi vitamin that supports metabolism. I took them both this morning and have tons of extra energy and do not feel starved! Yay!
Day one, off to a happy start....
Breakfast: 1 whole egg, 1 egg white, half banana, 1 mini whole grain bagel. Lunch: 1 cup progresso light zesty Santa fe soup. Dinner: 3 oz fillet mignon, asparagus, sweet potatoes, and french bread
Beans rice and cornbread, can't go wrong!
1/2 cup pinto beans, 1/4 cip jasmine rice and small slice of cornbread. I like to serve my food in small bowls/plates...I guess the mind trick works for me cause this looked like a ton of food!
My daily breakfast
This is a wonderful and filling breakfast. I make a fruit smoothie (1/2 cup milk with about a cup of mixed fruit, whatever I have on hand) then serve it with some egg whites mixed with whatever veggies I have on hand, and a mini whole grain bagel. the whole thing has 5 pts and I am so full that I don't even think about food till about 5 hours later.
Veggie Pizza
garlic olive oil, then pizza sauce, lots of fresh veggies and CHEESE! Just 4 pts a slice!
Baked Ziti
turkey sausage, bell pepper, onion, diced tomato, frozen peas, lots of herbs, whole grain pasta and cheese. Very easy and yummy! Filling, and there are tons of leftovers!
Day 4
Breakfast: honey nut cheerios and 1/2 cup milk Lunch: 6 piece chickennugget kids meal from Chick Fil A with fruit cup instead of fries and milk to drink Dinner: lean hamburger patty on whole grain mini bagel with tater tots. Picture is of my favorite Sonic drink... a large WATER
the filling for my greek omelet
artichoke hearts, spinach, olives, mushrooms, and tomato! Very tasty!
Made from leftovers!
beans, rice and shrimp in my baja yogurt sauce. Served with corn tortillas. Quite tasty!
Fajita Pork and Pasta
This was sooo good! I'm on a roll with these weight watchers meals! Very easy- 1 onion, 3 bell peppers (green, red and yellow) 1 zucchini a couple carrots cook till tender (seasoned with ground cumin, chili powder and garlic powder) then add some pork (seasoned with the same thing) and heat through. Toss with whole wheat pasta and you're done! I added some garlic in there somewhere too, I think with the veggies. Oh and at the end throw in a can of rotel, it kidna helps hold it all together. Yummy!
Baked Tilapia
Tonight's dinner was so good! I made baked Tilapia- just seasoned both sides of the filet with salt and pepper then covered the tops with a garlic herb blend and fresh lemon juice and broiled for about 10 minutes. Served with orange cilantro black bean salad ( one of my favorite new recipes) and rice! So good!
Day 3
Breakfast: Apple Cinnamon Cheerios with 1/2 cup 2% milk, Lunch: whole grain tortilla with grilled chicken breast and veggie mixture of corn, black beans and brocolli, Dinner: roasted pork loin and apples, green beans, and french bread, snack: peaches and raspberries
Fish Tacos
this was good! I made fish stickes (tilapia with some seasoned flour and bread crumbs) then served it in corn tortillas with a yogurt sauce (plain fat free yogurt, lime juice, chipotle in adobo and salt/pepper) Made black beans and rice for a side dish
Lemon chocken with artichokes and spinach
This was better than it looks, but not much! I think if I had used the capers and fresh spinach the recipe called for it would have been better. Instead I omitted the capers cause I didn't have any and used frozen spinach. the sauce is good though- lemon zest, lemon juice, chicken broth, corn starch and sugar. Season chicken with salt pepper and dill. Mix sauce with artichoke hearts and spinach and serve over chicken. Not bad, but not as good as the rest of the recipes!
Sauted Shrimp and zucchini
Another very good recipe from WW and also very easy. Saute some zucchini in a little olive oil, add shrimp and grape tomatoes. Season with salt pepper and oregano. I served mine with angel hair pasta
Goat Cheese Souffle with fruit salad
Souffle: 3 eggs, seperated, some dill weed, salt and pepper, 1/2 tbs butter and 1-2 oz goat cheese. mix egg yold with dill weed salt and pepper, set aside. In large mixing bowl whip egg whites with electric mixer till soft peaks form (about 2-3 minutes) fold in yolk mixture till combined. Poor into pie dish buttered with 1/2 tbs butter. Crumble goat cheese on top. Place in 400 degree oven for 10 minutes. Eat! Yummy! The whole thing has about 10 points, I cut mine into 4 servings, so this is a nice light breakfast for a few people when served with a good fresh fruit salad- just 3 points!
Mediterranean Chicken
Tangy and tasty!
Maybe, I don't mean to be out of line if I am, but maybe you should get some meds for your depression?? I say that completely out of love because I want you happy and I love you so much sissy :( There are "resources" out there to help with your crying depression. I really don't think just looking prettier is going to help. That's just skin deep, or shallow like you said yourself.
ReplyDeletetrust me, if I could afford meds I would be all over them. I know I need them, but they cost money, and that seems to be the source of all my problems right now, a total lack of money. Blah. thanks for the concern though, love you!
ReplyDeleteMaybe mom or dad could get them for you??
ReplyDeleteno go I've asked
ReplyDeleteWell poop. Yeah not having money is definitely a downer. Good thing I've never really made good money so I've never been able to miss it. Ha! BUT why don't you take this time to study for that little bar test?? It seems like the perfect opportunity. I know you're busy with Maddie, but I know you have a few hours here and there that you could sneak it in... Sorry if I'm sounding like Dad but well you do have a law degree ;) Love you!
ReplyDelete