I'm starting the C25K program again today and I am terrified! I know I am 50 pounds less than I was when I started the first time but the pain I got when my knees popped and I fell on that dang treadmill is still so fresh and clear in my mind and I am SO hesitant to get in there and go again. I couldn't walk for practically a week after that....I didn't have a job though and so it wasn't that big of a deal to sit around the house with ice on my knees. Now I do. yikes. I'm SO SCARED!!!!! I'm going to do it though, I will just have to start even slower that before I guess. I only made it to week 4 last time before my dang injury knocked me out of the game. That's not very far. I hope I can do this. I have 100% confidence in my ability to follow a healthy eating lifestyle, it's the active part that gets me every time. I start off so good then something happens and I slowly fall off track, which eventually leads to falling off track with eating as well. I am just praying that this time it's different. I loved going to they gym everyday before i hurt myself, maybe that habit will come back fast this time. Anyway, here is my workout schedule, of course the timing depends on little Miss Maddie's mood....but she may just find her angry butt in the kids room whether she likes it or not.
Monday: c25k 30 minutes weight machines 20 minutes (6:00)
Tuesday: Yoga at 6:30
Wednesday: C25K 30 minutes weights 10 minutes (go after work since I have church on wednesday at 6:30)
Thursday: Yoga at 6:30
Friday C25K and Weights
Saturday: Zumba at 10:00
Sunday rest
Chances are Wednesday will end up being a no workout day because to make it work I will ahve to go straight to the gym from work then after working out get maddie then get her home and make dinner before 6:30. It's doable for sure, but there will be days it wont happen!
Oh, last night I have a really bad binge. I got home from church and ate 2 mini pizzas (the really small ones not that personal size) so it was half a serving, then I ate en entire bag of cinnamon apple chips. They were SO good! If I only had a few as a snack then it wouldn't have been so bad but I ate more than a few. I also proceeded to eat some grilled veggies, baked chicken and corn tortillas. What the hell? Anyway I know why I did it, I was not good an spacing my points yesterday. I had a big breakfast, a tiny lunch and a normal size but super early dinner. I had to be at church by 4:30 and knew I wouldn't be home till 8:00 That wont happen again. I'll just have to figure out something I can take and eat at church. I went way over my points yesterday...like 40 points over due to my binge. I have been good about controlling those lately I guess last night was bound to happen at some point. My body was craving something and when I couldn't figure out what it was i just kept eating. I think I was craving meat. I never eat it anymore, some chicken or fish occasionally but rarely. I can't afford anything else! I need to figure out how to get more protein....eggs I guess? Well that's it. I need to get my butt ready for work and I hear Maddie stirring! Good day!
reminder
Do you ever get frustrated because things are moving too slowly in your life? Many people don't realize that building a foundation for success does not happen overnight. It is a slow process in which you are constantly working and learning. After all, that foundation must remain strong, even in times of failure or crisis. This takes time! You may have to remind yourself that "failing" is only failure if you quit; otherwise it's a learning opportunity. So don't worry if your life seems to be moving in slow motion. Concentrate on building a solid foundation and learning from your back steps
My Plan
So I've been going at this weight loss/ healthy lifestyle/ exercise/ love myself shit for years now. Seriously, when will I just get it? I am a quitter and loser. The fact that it's a couple of years later and I'm here starting over is proof positive. I've got a million and half excuses as to why I gained the weight back but not a single one of them matters. I need to do this. I need to push myself and get over the quitter mentality. I've learned that I'm a miserable person when I'm unhealthy. If anything came out of previous success it's that knowledge. Being healthy makes me happy. Simple as that. I have to do this. MY life depends on it.
I am setting a goal for myself of 5% of my body weight at a time. Since I weigh 210 pounds right now, that means 10.5 pounds is 5% of my body weight, I think....math and I have never gotten along very well. I'll try something a little different this time and figure out what 5% of each new weight is too...maybe that will keep me more motivated.
Anyway, as I meet my goals, I plan on rewarding myself! I NEVER reward myself, I wont even buy myself the right kind of shampoo half the time because I hate wasting money on me. But self help is a great thing and something to look forward to. My rewards will always non food items and always something personal.
I will also make a meal plan each saturday night, buy the groceries sunday and stick with it through the week. I will be making Brian do this with me and he will lose more weight than me and I will get jealous but that will not make me quit like it would have in the past. I will be able to fit into my clothes again. I will want to dress up and put on makeup and fix myhair again. I will feel like a human being again. And I WILL learn to love myself FINALLY!
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