I stepped on the scale this morning and much to my shock and great pleasure the number on the scale MUCH lower than expected considering the bott....errr....glass of wine that I consumed last night. 174.2!!! I am aware that that is still fat and I have a loooong way to go until I am considered a normal weight but in my book that is AWESOME! As I have mentioned before my body loves being 180 pounds. I can practically do nothing at all and I will stay pretty close to 180. When I have managed to make it to 175 or below in the past....well that's where I stayed. It never gets below it. EVER. And if it it does it's for about a day till it goes back up. So while I am super excited that I made it below 175 (which in the last probably 10 year has only happened a handful of times) I am also cautious of becoming too happy because I know from experience it doesn't last. This seems to be the lowest my body will allow me to get. So I have to figure out something to trick this fat piece of crap into lowering more. Since I was quite happy I made a really good tasty breakfast- one egg sunny side up sprinkled with some salt pepper and dill, on top of a mini whole grain bagel with 1/2 ounce of goat cheese. I also made an old favorite that I haven't had since my earlier weight watcher days....a green monster smoothie. So good! One cup of milk, one banana, a handful of frozen strawberries (just strawberries, no added sugar) and 2 big handfuls of baby spinach. It's so good I forogt how much I enjoyed them! I guess they are added back to my staple list.
Today's plan are to go out and buy a new outfit to celebrate this rare occasion. Not really on my reward list but I've been down on myself lately and yes retail therapy does help. After that I planned on running some, doing some weights, tanning (I know it's bad) then goin to church to cuddle with my babies. I'm really trying to contain my excited over the number on the scale and stay level headed here... I'm waiting on 170 so I can get this big curly MOP cut off of my head and look human!!!
reminder
Do you ever get frustrated because things are moving too slowly in your life? Many people don't realize that building a foundation for success does not happen overnight. It is a slow process in which you are constantly working and learning. After all, that foundation must remain strong, even in times of failure or crisis. This takes time! You may have to remind yourself that "failing" is only failure if you quit; otherwise it's a learning opportunity. So don't worry if your life seems to be moving in slow motion. Concentrate on building a solid foundation and learning from your back steps
My Plan
So I've been going at this weight loss/ healthy lifestyle/ exercise/ love myself shit for years now. Seriously, when will I just get it? I am a quitter and loser. The fact that it's a couple of years later and I'm here starting over is proof positive. I've got a million and half excuses as to why I gained the weight back but not a single one of them matters. I need to do this. I need to push myself and get over the quitter mentality. I've learned that I'm a miserable person when I'm unhealthy. If anything came out of previous success it's that knowledge. Being healthy makes me happy. Simple as that. I have to do this. MY life depends on it.
I am setting a goal for myself of 5% of my body weight at a time. Since I weigh 210 pounds right now, that means 10.5 pounds is 5% of my body weight, I think....math and I have never gotten along very well. I'll try something a little different this time and figure out what 5% of each new weight is too...maybe that will keep me more motivated.
Anyway, as I meet my goals, I plan on rewarding myself! I NEVER reward myself, I wont even buy myself the right kind of shampoo half the time because I hate wasting money on me. But self help is a great thing and something to look forward to. My rewards will always non food items and always something personal.
I will also make a meal plan each saturday night, buy the groceries sunday and stick with it through the week. I will be making Brian do this with me and he will lose more weight than me and I will get jealous but that will not make me quit like it would have in the past. I will be able to fit into my clothes again. I will want to dress up and put on makeup and fix myhair again. I will feel like a human being again. And I WILL learn to love myself FINALLY!
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