You know...the people you see who just look good? I don't know how else to say it. We all know them, they workout al lthe time, eat healthy, are just HEALTHY and look it! I've always envied them, now I am starting to think that I could be them one day! what a realization! I am already in love with yoga and pilates and am starting to grow the love part of my love/hate relationship with running...so maybe I am getting there! Yay me! Today was a good day, maybe that's why I feel like this! I most of my day in NWA interviewing for yet another job, went to target, then rushed back home...because I had to workout! I was literally anxious that I wouldn't make it on time! Now that is something I never thought I would feel! I got to the gym at 5:00, did Week 3 day 3 of my C25K plan, once again thought I might die but didn't stop, just kept pushing myself, watching the tv's, closing my eyes and listening to my ipod..anything to keep from looking at the timer and before I knew it it was over and it was time for my favorite class of the week, yoga! I love that stuff! Maybe cause for a fat girl I am pretty dang good at it! I've always been flexible, even at my heaviest, so yoga is just kinda natural for me. I am sore from pilates yesterday, but tonights class really helped lossen me up. I was also really good on my eating plan. Since I was in NWA for breakfast I brought a packet of plain oatmeal with a tbsp of raisins and some fruit for breakfast. Lunch I planned on chick fil a cause I LOVE that place! I had a kids meal with a 6 piece nugget, a fruit cup and a cup of low fat milk- total is like 7 points I think so that is wonderful! For dinner, since I was still on a yoga high and didn't want to eat anything heavy I just made some whole wheat spaghetti, sauteed some veggies and mixed it with some garlic and a tsp of olive oil and salt and pepper. It was very good! Light and satisfying! That's what the picture is by the way! I took a few pictures of me ( I had to put on makeup today for my interview so I felt kinda cute) but I don't want to post them yet. I know I have lost 20 pounds, but I still feel fat and ugly most of the time, even when I have good days like today, I don't feel attractive anymore. I am hoping that will change when I drop a few more pounds though! Anyway, long and boring post I know, sorry....time to go to bed!
reminder
Do you ever get frustrated because things are moving too slowly in your life? Many people don't realize that building a foundation for success does not happen overnight. It is a slow process in which you are constantly working and learning. After all, that foundation must remain strong, even in times of failure or crisis. This takes time! You may have to remind yourself that "failing" is only failure if you quit; otherwise it's a learning opportunity. So don't worry if your life seems to be moving in slow motion. Concentrate on building a solid foundation and learning from your back steps
My Plan
So I've been going at this weight loss/ healthy lifestyle/ exercise/ love myself shit for years now. Seriously, when will I just get it? I am a quitter and loser. The fact that it's a couple of years later and I'm here starting over is proof positive. I've got a million and half excuses as to why I gained the weight back but not a single one of them matters. I need to do this. I need to push myself and get over the quitter mentality. I've learned that I'm a miserable person when I'm unhealthy. If anything came out of previous success it's that knowledge. Being healthy makes me happy. Simple as that. I have to do this. MY life depends on it.
I am setting a goal for myself of 5% of my body weight at a time. Since I weigh 210 pounds right now, that means 10.5 pounds is 5% of my body weight, I think....math and I have never gotten along very well. I'll try something a little different this time and figure out what 5% of each new weight is too...maybe that will keep me more motivated.
Anyway, as I meet my goals, I plan on rewarding myself! I NEVER reward myself, I wont even buy myself the right kind of shampoo half the time because I hate wasting money on me. But self help is a great thing and something to look forward to. My rewards will always non food items and always something personal.
I will also make a meal plan each saturday night, buy the groceries sunday and stick with it through the week. I will be making Brian do this with me and he will lose more weight than me and I will get jealous but that will not make me quit like it would have in the past. I will be able to fit into my clothes again. I will want to dress up and put on makeup and fix myhair again. I will feel like a human being again. And I WILL learn to love myself FINALLY!
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