Thursday, April 14, 2011
What a day
Today was entirely too much for me. This whole damn roller coaster that I can't seem to get off of is driving me insane. The day started good, haircut, finally got down to my pre pregnancy weight, took decent pictures, maddie went to daycare and didn't scream when I dropped her off, I felt confident going into my interview...then the damn interview hit. I don't know what's wrong with me anymore. I used to do se well in interviews. I used to have so much confidence and I just went in knowing I had the job and no one was better than me and I nailed the interviews and got the jobs. Now...not so much. I am a big ball of nerves who just sits there and shakes and stutters and can't answer the simplest questions and just laughs and giggles andsmiles like a big dumb ditz. I am kinda thinking it has to do with the amount of interviews I have had lately. I am just worn out. I amhaving a hard time processing all the no's and I am letting it get to me. Instead of trying to stay positive and see these as practice opportunities I am thinking of them as missed chances. Which I know they aren't becasue when the right job comes along then I will get the job. But when you are putting yourself out there daily practically and never getting any positive feedback, it gets to you. It would bother anyone, I don't care how confident you are. Anyway, after my failed intervew I thought I would go to the gym because if I can't control my nerves, I can control my weight. Wrong. I get there, and the first part of my run goes great. I ran 7 minutes, didn't get out of breath a bit, wasn't hurting, had a nice stride going, I felt great. Then my leg started to cramp to I slowed down for a minute..maybe like 45 seconds to stretch it out and when I started running again it all went downhill. I heard a sickening popping cracking sound in both of my knees at the same time and collapsed on the dang treadmill and fell off practically sobbing in agony. I don't know what the hell I did. So I figured I would just finish my workout on the eliptical cause my knees were done but I couldn't even do that without crying out in pain. So I just went to the weight machines and did about 30 minutes there thenwent home feeling like a failure. It didn't stop there, oh no, I wanted to end this wonderful day with a bang. I got home, and had a glass of wine...not just a small glass, one of the big balloon goblets, filled to the top with white wine, not even red so no heart benefits. Well I learned my lesson there, apparently with any alcohol all my will power goes to shit. I thought I would still eat a healthy dinner, and I did, a baked potato with a few ounces of lean brisket and 1 oz of low fat cheese. Then I had a cookie. Then that cookie turned to 4 and what good are cookies without a big glass of ice cold milk? Well, that's how my day ended. Failure all around. I am sure the fact that I didn't eat during the day because I was nervous didn't help my night time binge. It's ok though. Thankfully I don't have any interviews planned right now, and tomorrow is pilates. I will eat a healthy breakfast, stay off of the scale in the morning and tomorrow will be good. Until the next obstacle appears. Then I just don't know what I will do. Somedays I handle them wonderfully, others, like today, I fail. I guess that's life. I just have to get back up and keep going no matter what set backs occur. I thank God every minute of every day for Maddie...times like these, when everything seems just so pointless and like I have no control over anything and start to wonder why I bother trying, she looks at me and grins or reaches for my face for a kiss and suddenly I know why.
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Bagel Sandwich
This was the best breakfast I have had in a while! One mini whole grain bagel, 2 slices turkey bacon, 1/4 cup egg whites and 1 slice cheese served with 1/2 banana and 1/2 cup strawberries. Total points- 6! Also- I have decided turkey bacon is FAR superior to regular bacon and I am dead serious!
Orange-Black bean salad and fish
YUM! this was so good! And so easy! Just saute some onion and garlic in a little bit of olive oil, add some ground cumin then add black beans, red wine vinegar and fresh orange juice. Toss in some Oranges at the last minute and serve! Amazing! I served mine with some pan grilled mahi mahi. One of the best combinations of food I have ever had!
Chicken Enchilada Casserole
mmmmmm....this was awesome and I ate it for at least 4 meals!
Mexican Meatloaf
this was amazing! No clue wha tI put in it, if you want the recipe I will dig it up, it was good though!
Shrimp curry
Mmmm thai food at home!
Spinach strawberry salad with goat cheese and orange balsamic vinegrette
Yummiest salad I've ever made! baby spinach tossed with sliced strawberries, goat cheese, and pistachio nuts. Dressing is orange juice, balsamic vinegar, canola oil, salt and pepper. Very tasty and simple!
Green Monster Smoothie (and Maddie's juice)
milk, fruit and spinach, what's not to love?
Alternative
I almost broke down and got some diet pills. Instead I bought these: some fiber choice tablet things that actually taste really good, and a multi vitamin that supports metabolism. I took them both this morning and have tons of extra energy and do not feel starved! Yay!
Day one, off to a happy start....
Breakfast: 1 whole egg, 1 egg white, half banana, 1 mini whole grain bagel. Lunch: 1 cup progresso light zesty Santa fe soup. Dinner: 3 oz fillet mignon, asparagus, sweet potatoes, and french bread
Beans rice and cornbread, can't go wrong!
1/2 cup pinto beans, 1/4 cip jasmine rice and small slice of cornbread. I like to serve my food in small bowls/plates...I guess the mind trick works for me cause this looked like a ton of food!
My daily breakfast
This is a wonderful and filling breakfast. I make a fruit smoothie (1/2 cup milk with about a cup of mixed fruit, whatever I have on hand) then serve it with some egg whites mixed with whatever veggies I have on hand, and a mini whole grain bagel. the whole thing has 5 pts and I am so full that I don't even think about food till about 5 hours later.
Veggie Pizza
garlic olive oil, then pizza sauce, lots of fresh veggies and CHEESE! Just 4 pts a slice!
Baked Ziti
turkey sausage, bell pepper, onion, diced tomato, frozen peas, lots of herbs, whole grain pasta and cheese. Very easy and yummy! Filling, and there are tons of leftovers!
Day 4
Breakfast: honey nut cheerios and 1/2 cup milk Lunch: 6 piece chickennugget kids meal from Chick Fil A with fruit cup instead of fries and milk to drink Dinner: lean hamburger patty on whole grain mini bagel with tater tots. Picture is of my favorite Sonic drink... a large WATER
the filling for my greek omelet
artichoke hearts, spinach, olives, mushrooms, and tomato! Very tasty!
Made from leftovers!
beans, rice and shrimp in my baja yogurt sauce. Served with corn tortillas. Quite tasty!
Fajita Pork and Pasta
This was sooo good! I'm on a roll with these weight watchers meals! Very easy- 1 onion, 3 bell peppers (green, red and yellow) 1 zucchini a couple carrots cook till tender (seasoned with ground cumin, chili powder and garlic powder) then add some pork (seasoned with the same thing) and heat through. Toss with whole wheat pasta and you're done! I added some garlic in there somewhere too, I think with the veggies. Oh and at the end throw in a can of rotel, it kidna helps hold it all together. Yummy!
Baked Tilapia
Tonight's dinner was so good! I made baked Tilapia- just seasoned both sides of the filet with salt and pepper then covered the tops with a garlic herb blend and fresh lemon juice and broiled for about 10 minutes. Served with orange cilantro black bean salad ( one of my favorite new recipes) and rice! So good!
Day 3
Breakfast: Apple Cinnamon Cheerios with 1/2 cup 2% milk, Lunch: whole grain tortilla with grilled chicken breast and veggie mixture of corn, black beans and brocolli, Dinner: roasted pork loin and apples, green beans, and french bread, snack: peaches and raspberries
Fish Tacos
this was good! I made fish stickes (tilapia with some seasoned flour and bread crumbs) then served it in corn tortillas with a yogurt sauce (plain fat free yogurt, lime juice, chipotle in adobo and salt/pepper) Made black beans and rice for a side dish
Lemon chocken with artichokes and spinach
This was better than it looks, but not much! I think if I had used the capers and fresh spinach the recipe called for it would have been better. Instead I omitted the capers cause I didn't have any and used frozen spinach. the sauce is good though- lemon zest, lemon juice, chicken broth, corn starch and sugar. Season chicken with salt pepper and dill. Mix sauce with artichoke hearts and spinach and serve over chicken. Not bad, but not as good as the rest of the recipes!
Sauted Shrimp and zucchini
Another very good recipe from WW and also very easy. Saute some zucchini in a little olive oil, add shrimp and grape tomatoes. Season with salt pepper and oregano. I served mine with angel hair pasta
Goat Cheese Souffle with fruit salad
Souffle: 3 eggs, seperated, some dill weed, salt and pepper, 1/2 tbs butter and 1-2 oz goat cheese. mix egg yold with dill weed salt and pepper, set aside. In large mixing bowl whip egg whites with electric mixer till soft peaks form (about 2-3 minutes) fold in yolk mixture till combined. Poor into pie dish buttered with 1/2 tbs butter. Crumble goat cheese on top. Place in 400 degree oven for 10 minutes. Eat! Yummy! The whole thing has about 10 points, I cut mine into 4 servings, so this is a nice light breakfast for a few people when served with a good fresh fruit salad- just 3 points!
Mediterranean Chicken
Tangy and tasty!
Well sissy.. You get knocked down, just get up again. I know you can do it :) I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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